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Elizabeth Ann
Murphy
d. Feb 26, 2025
Elizabeth Ann Murphy passed away on February 26, 2025 surrounded by her family and friends. Elizabeth is survived by her wife of 28 years, Courtney Henderson, and her brothers and sisters: Mary Meyers (husband, Charles), Gerald Murphy (wife, Pamela), Joseph Murphy (wife, Joan), Michael Murphy, Patricia Cysyk (husband, William), Denise Milkowski, Ann George (husband, Clinton), and Thomas Murphy (wife, Karen), as well as many nieces and nephews.
One of Elizabeth's most remarkable qualities was her awareness from an early age of God's presence with us on our journeys, of God's deep love for us at all times and in all circumstances. Elizabeth never had a version of the "Santa Claus" God who we ask for what we want; her God was a real and abiding, loving God, who was always with us. She knew this, she lived this, and she taught this.
Elizabeth Ann Murphy was born the eighth child of nine to Mary Grace and Joseph James Murphy. She grew up in a rowhouse on Battery Avenue in South Baltimore near St. Mary Star of the Sea.
Her elementary school teacher, Sr. Inez, made the girls' communion veils, took the children caroling at Christmastime, and visited the homes of the students. By second grade, Elizabeth wanted to become a nun. Throughout her life Liz encountered many of the School Sisters of Notre Dame and her conviction to enter religious life deepened along the way.
When it was time for middle school, Liz went to Our Lady of Good Counsel (OLGC) in South Baltimore. Her experiences at OLGC changed her life forever – more is written below about this.
Elizabeth graduated in 1979 from Seton High School. She was an excellent athlete all her life and enjoyed being a fierce supporter of the basketball team and an active member of the varsity softball team. It was here that she made lifelong friendships, especially with her girlie.
After High School Liz worked as a food service manager at the Catholic University in Washington, DC and at Broadmead Retirement Community in Cockeysville, MD. Throughout periods of her life she supported herself independently with a successful interior painting business of her own.
In 2007, Liz completed her Bachelor of Arts degree in Religious Studies and Theology at the College of Notre Dame of Maryland, graduating Cum Laude. She was inducted into the National Honor Society for Religious Studies and Theology, Theta Alpha Kappa, based on her academic excellence.
While attending middle school and OLGC, Elizabeth endured 3 years of violent rape and terrifying sexual abuse at the hands of a teacher. This sad fate was shared by several of her classmates. As Liz grew up and began to come to terms with what had happened to her, she adopted a life's work of ensuring the protection of children, so that others would not have to suffer the horrific pain of childhood sexual abuse.
The first steps on this path were to have her own perpetrator removed from public life; she was the primary plaintiff in a trial which put this recidivist child rapist behind bars for the remaining years of his life. The cost of doing this for Liz cannot be told: decades, first of the trial, then of hearings, depositions, appeals, opinions and dissenting opinions, media interviews, helping her former fellow classmates in various ways, and therapy - each of these re-opening deep, old wounds and kicking off cycles of post-traumatic stress disorder, over and over and over. She never refused any of these tasks.
Parallel to this was an ongoing effort by Liz and many others to have the State of Maryland laws and statues changed to ensure that adult survivors of child abuse, and particularly child sexual abuse, would have time to understand their victimization and trauma, and have an adequate chance as adults to seek justice and help and retribution. The laws to name and convict perpetrators and enablers needed to be broadened in Maryland as they have been in some other states. Hearings in Annapolis and Baltimore, interviews with various Attorneys General, lawyers, rulings, appeals, etc. Again, Liz never backed down from any of this work, no matter the cost to her.
Most painful for Elizabeth was her ongoing struggle through these years to have the Catholic Church take accountability for the fact that these grievous crimes and evil acts occurred under their roofs, under their auspices, sometimes even with their direct knowledge of the events. Some child abusers were direct employees of the Archdiocese of Baltimore, some of the enablers belonged to groups or communities related to the Church. Seeing the devastation in her own life and in the lives of other victims, including many, many untimely, much-too-early deaths, Liz could not, would not stand by to watch the perpetrators moved around from Church to parish to school, continuing to harm children all the while.
The Church's apparent hypocrisy as these episodes of abuse came to light across the nation caused Liz a long period of separation from Catholic practices – her faith in God never wavered. She was always convinced that the Church could do better. Through many meetings with various members of the Church hierarchy, and letters to the communities of nuns involved, both locally and in Rome, through years of getting no answers and feeling brushed aside, Liz persisted. As diocese after diocese across the country was "outed" for crimes of child sexual abuse, Liz held out hope that the Church would own their behavior and do the necessary things to amend it. Without her deep faith and understanding of God and God's love, she could not have made it through the heartbreaking separation from her beloved Catholic Church. She always knew that before something can be healed, it must be named.
Before beginning this work, Liz had to first come to terms with her own demons. As so many who are victimized as children do, Liz tried to cope with feelings and emotions beyond her understanding by using drugs and alcohol. As a teenager and young woman, she suffered through some dark years coming to grips with her abuse. Finally, because she still aspired to become a religious sister, the community she was attempting to join intervened, and Liz was introduced to Recovery, through a stay at Father Martin's. Liz died with 32 years sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.
As she progressed in sobriety her life's career became helping others to achieve sobriety. She sponsored many people in AA. She became one of the first Certified Peer Recovery Specialists (CPRS) in Maryland, working for Baltimore County. This work led her to help women in the Baltimore County Detention Center, leading workshops in the START program, and helping to place women in recovery houses upon release. She became acquainted with Marian House and worked with many women there. Liz loved leading workshops and helping other women to discover how wonderful sober life could be, to see how much they had to offer as they began their new sober lives. There was nothing Liz would not do for someone getting out of the Detention Center to help them get a good start.
Eventually Liz continued this work through the State of Maryland Department of Health, as an Overdose Response Community Engagement Manager. In this work Liz travelled throughout the State contacting recovery houses, delivering and teaching the use of Narcan (used to reverse overdoses). She spoke at related conventions, taught various groups on the administration and efficacy of Narcan; during COVID, she taught online. She absolutely loved doing this work.
In 1997 Liz met Courtney, who would become her legal wife in 2010. They always saw themselves as married, counting all the years before and after legal marriage was available, this year celebrating 28 years together.
Finally, Liz fought and struggled with Stage 4 cancer. The cancer could not be diagnosed and therefore could only be treated generally. She suffered excruciating pain in her head and legs, losing some sight and speech and most mobility.
Liz was a joyful person. Not "in spite of" the things that happened in her life, but "through" them. She loved people, especially children, she loved music and art, she was bright and engaging, loved to learn, loved to teach. One of her favorite quotes from scripture was "I place before you life and death…Oh that you would choose life" (Deut 30:19). Another favorite quote, attributed to St. Frances, "Always preach the Gospel; when necessary, use words". How lucky are we, how grateful, to have known Liz.
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Countless people helped with the final steps of Liz's journey, the battle with cancer. The family wishes to thank the friends whose love for her has lasted over time. Kate Kelly and Marcia Hanson offered daily support for all the tasks of living, which becomes so much more when living with illness. Mary Fraley Green, who along with husband Bill and daughter Kristin, rallied support from their community, many from Liz's early childhood years in South Baltimore. The Murphy clan has many families, each giving whatever they could in a true team effort to support Liz through her last days with companionship and love, and every kind of help and support; Trish and Bill Cysyk travelled from Pennsylvania three days a week to stay with Liz all day, and see to her needs, helping to keep the home fires burning. So many people loved Liz and made sure that she knew she was loved. She was loved indeed.
A Memorial Mass will be held at the Catholic Community of St. Francis Xavier, 13717 Cuba Road, Hunt Valley, Maryland 21030 on Saturday, March 8 beginning at 1:00 PM. Private inurnment will follow. In lieu of flowers the family requests donations be made to Marian House at the following link: Online Donations for Marian House .
Please share condolences with the family by signing Elizabeth's guestbook.
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